When you commit to scientific research on an international scale, you know you’re going to be traveling. This spring I have an approved teaching leave to focus on research. I will be using it to spend as much time at CERN as possible. This is good, because it means I can much better participate in ATLAS physics and fulfill my responsibilities and duties as an ATLAS Higgs subgroup co-convener.
But there is a price. Jodi and I are a married couple, both in physics. I need to be at CERN; she needs to remain in the States to work with her group and collaborate on her experiment. This means a LOT of time apart, with the biggest chunk being a few months right up front. This will mark the longest we have been apart since graduate school, and certainly the longest time apart since we were married.
When we parted at the airport today, it was nearly impossible to go. When I did manage to commit to walking to my gate, it felt like somebody shoved a whole apple down my throat and set my eyes on fire.
People do this all the time. I get that. But it is always hard, especially when it is because the focus for the next year needs to be on our science. We are both in critical years, and we understand that a little sacrifice will go a long way. That doesn’t mean we like it; it means we recognize unpleasant necessity when we see it.
My flight will leave soon. I will write as much as I can while I am at CERN. Borrowing a great idea from a friend of mine, I might even try a “photo a day” thing. Writing helps me make sense of things. Writing helps me sort out my thoughts and feelings about research and life. Over the next months, I will need to do a LOT of sorting and a lot of distracting . . . because I already miss home.
