It is believed that the attack on Boston on 1-31-07 by the Mooninites is due to the pro-Moon policies of the current administration. The U.S. has a long history with the Moon, going back to the war of the Barbary Pirates in the 1700s. At that time, officers in the nascent U.S. Navy would look to the moon to break the boredom of the long voyage to northern Africa. In the 1960s, the U.S. landed on the Moon. It is believed that our decades-long action in the 60s and 70s to go to the moon, walk, and bounce on it, first provoked the Mooninites into a response.
Historians believe that the Mooninites perceived the American presence as a threat to their holy sites. Most notable is the “Sea of Tranquility”, which was our first manned landing site. This also happened to be a bowl, carved by hand over centuries by the Mooninites, believed to be in honor of Kraftnignokt, the god whose promise to the Mooninites was to “Bring the macaroni, if you make the bowl and bring the cheese.” (The Book of Kraftnignok). Since then, the Mooninite agression grew. It began with strikes against our space forces, culiminating in the bombing of the Apollo 13 missing to the Moon.
Presidents did nothing. They let these acts of aggression against our forces go unanswered. Emboldened, perceiving signs of weakness in America’s policy toward the moon, and threatened by the current administration’s plans to invest billions in “building a base on the moon”:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16871258/, the Mooninites struck Boston and nine other U.S. cities last week. Crisis was averted in all but Boston, where panic spread like water poured on a grease fire. The city managed to avert catastrophe by spending $750,000 in anti-terrorism funds and shutting down major thoroughfares through the city.
The leader of the Mooninite terrorists, Ignignokt, released a statement today on the Al Jazeera news network. In it, he states, “The innocent shall suffer… big time. We do whatever we want whenever we want, at all times. No one can defeat the Quad Laser. The explosion shall be of extraordinary magnitude. Just hang on. Man, that pool is bitchin.”
