Dear Mayan Preppers,
I hope that the depth of your foolishness is apparent. I hope that the shame and embarrassment you feel is so great that it is like looking up from the bottom of a well and seeing only a pinpoint of light at the top. What is that pinpoint of light? It is skepticism. It is wisdom. It is the light that most of us have been living in. It is far from where you are now, but it can be closer. You should claw your way out of the well, make a furtive glance to check if anyone noticed you just crawled out of a pit, and get on with your life.
You’re not the first sucker to fall for a hoax. You won’t be the last. But, your participation in the delusion has cost the world. It cost people $770 million dollars, the amount of money they collectively spent seeing that shameful film, “2012,” which managed to massacre science and history to such depths that it made the Texas State Board of Education look like apes signing for grapes. The descendants of the ancient Mayans saw little to no tourist benefit from this hoax, while the Mexican government made some serious money off the tourism. Shameful.
You also made historians and anthropologists waste precious energy and time debunking your fallacious nonsense. Your total misunderstanding of Mayan civilization and history had to be challenged, lest your voices be the only loud ones in the public sphere. You made astronomers, including the good people at NASA, waste resources and time debunking your total misunderstanding of astronomical bodies and even the basic workings of gravity. To all you new-agers out there, whose premises are based on goofball nonsense far outside any testable realm: I know that you are so high on ignorance, there is really no way to make you see the shame in this . . . you will make up some ad hoc excuse, no matter what, that turns today into a successful transcendence of consciousness or some other bullshit. Enjoy your trip.
Sure, you wasted your income on MREs, shelters, guns, trips to mesas and mountaintops, and God knows what else. And in the end, really, you are the biggest victim of your striking inability to understand the world. For that, I feel some measure of pity. But you wasted your time and our time. Don’t expect our trust to return anytime soon.
But, hey, you seem pretty credulous. And, let’s face it: you’re unlikely to turn toward skepticism and critical thinking. So, I have a proposition for you. The SMU registrar has clearly predicted the end of the world on August 17, 2014. Why do I know this? There are no dates in the academic calendar past that date. So it must mean the end of the world. To help you prep for this, I have a book to sell you for just $29.99. Let me know if you’re interested.
Sincerely,
Steve Sekula
